Key Element for Psychological Toughness

Business and life will always give us roadblocks and obstacles. As it has been said…that is life! But when you are trying to achieve your goals and are bombarded with obstacles it becomes difficult. This is the moment in time that separates the successful from the unsuccessful. This is what separates the GOAT (Greatest Of All Time) from the rest of the pack. And, that separation occurs because most people stop at the roadblock and/or obstacle. The GREATS do NOT stop. They move over or under or around or through the obstacle. They do NOT STOP.

Let’s refer to this ability to not stop as Psychological Toughness. The ability to go over, around, under or through any obstacle that is in the way of your goals and/or success.

Do successful individuals have a superpower? Are they more talented or smarter or better than the “average” person? The answer to these questions is NO. The truth is they never stop when they hit hurdles or roadblocks.

So how do they do it?

I believe the skill to developing psychological toughness lies within how one speaks to oneself. What questions do you ask yourself when you encounter an obstacle or when you hit a roadblock or when you fall down? Maybe you are feeling defeated right now?

Successful individuals ask themselves different questions that keep them moving forward. Unsuccessful individuals ask themselves totally different questions that lead them to stop, and therefore, fail to accomplish their goal or master a skill.

Let me give you an example. If you ask for a referral and the client replies, “I cannot think of anyone.” What do you say to yourself? Oh, they must not like me! Or I am not good at getting referrals. Or how am I going to survive this business if I cannot get referrals? And then you STOP ASKING because it is painful and uncomfortable.

All the above self-thoughts are defeating and will not get you over the obstacle and/or help you improve your skill of asking for referrals. You MUST replace this thinking with the following thoughts: What can I do better next time I ask for referrals? Not everyone is going to give me referrals…NEXT. How do I improve my language? How do I improve my conviction? What coach can help me master the skill of asking for referrals?


These questions will lead you over, under, around and through this obstacle. These self-questions will keep you moving forward. The prior questions will let you hit a wall, fall down, and stay down.

Ask yourself…what questions do I ask myself that keep me stuck? What is my thinking that will stop me from becoming the GOAT? Then replace them with questions that will move you forward.

That is how you can begin to develop Psychological Toughness within yourself. And, that is the thinking that will keep you moving towards your goals.



One last thought…successful individuals hire coaches to help them improve and take their skills to the next level. We cannot see ourselves and we all have “blind spots” that prevent us from going to the next level. Successful individuals ask themselves…who can I hire to help me take my skills to the next level? That is the question they ask themselves and that is why they are successful.

If you want to take your skill to the next level, I am inviting you to schedule a call with me to explore how I might be able to help you. Here is a link to my calendar:

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Andrea Bullard