Why You’re Not Getting Referrals…it’s not your language.

Getting Referrals is So Much More Than the Right Words

Written by Andrea Bullard

October 29, 2025

When it comes to getting referrals, many advisors focus on finding the perfect script — the right words, the right moment, the right tone. And while language matters, it’s not the heart of the matter.

Referrals don’t come because you asked perfectly.

They come because your clients feel something about you.

They feel your mission.

They feel your commitment.

They feel your care.

When you talk to clients, are you talking about yourself—your experience, your credentials, your designations—or are you talking about your mission?

Your mission is what moves people. It’s what makes them want to introduce you to the people they care about most. When your clients hear your passion for helping families create financial security, for helping business owners protect what they’ve built, or for helping couples retire with peace of mind… they don’t just remember what you said — they remember how you made them feel.

And that feeling builds trust.

But there’s another layer that often gets overlooked:

 

Walking your Talk.

If you tell clients, you’ll meet with them twice a year — do you?

If you promise to review their plans and adjust as life changes — do you?

Referrals are not a transaction. They are a reflection of consistency. Your clients notice when you follow through. They notice when you call to check in, when you send that note of congratulations, when you remember their child just started college, or their mother had surgery.

They notice because those gestures show you see them — not as an account, but as a person.

And that’s the third, and perhaps most powerful, part of getting referrals:

 

The Relationship.

Do you know your clients beyond their portfolio?

Do you know the names of their children… their dog… their favorite vacation spot?

Do they know you care — really care — about their family, their business, and their dreams?

When clients feel that you’re genuinely invested in their lives, something beautiful happens: they become your advocates. They don’t refer you out of obligation. They refer you because they want their friends and family to experience the same care and peace of mind they’ve found with you.

So yes — language matters. But it’s not just about the words you say.

Getting referrals is about your mission, your follow-through, and your relationships.

It’s about showing up, again and again, as someone who cares deeply about the people you serve.

Because when clients feel your heart, not just your skill, they don’t just stay with you — they help you grow.

The skill of getting referrals has many dimensions that you need to understand.  I invite you to join me at the Referral Mastery Lab, where I help you see “blind spots” that will improve your ability to get referrals.  See the invite below.

Your Coach,

I am inviting you to join me…

REFERRAL MASTERY LAB

Wednesday, Nov. 5 @ 12-1:30 pm EST

Ready to Turn Referrals into a Daily Flow of New Business?

If you’ve struggled with referrals,

If you’ve ever thought you’re “just not good at asking”,

If you’re tired of feeling awkward, pushy, or inconsistent when it comes to getting introductions—

Then it’s time to master the skill that transforms your entire business.

Join me for a powerful, hands-on coaching session:

 

Wednesday, Nov. 5 | 12-1:30 PM EST

Referral Mastery Lab

This isn’t another “referral tips” class.

This is a transformation lab designed to help you:

• Reignite your passion and mission so clients want to refer you.
• Develop your own authentic referral language that feels natural, never “salesy.”
• Eliminate the fear and hesitation around asking for referrals.
• Confidently handle every objection with ease and professionalism.
• Turn your process into an ATM for referrals using my proven Market Research Kits©.
• Send the exact email that gets referrals scheduled—immediately.

Imagine this…

Instead of wondering where your next client will come from,

You wake up to a full calendar—referrals arriving daily from happy clients and centers of influence.

You no longer chase. You attract.

You don’t “ask.” You inspire.

And your business begins to multiply—predictably, sustainably, and with ease.

Magic Happens when you TAKE ACTION!

Spaces are limited—and the advisors who take action now will be the ones celebrating results within weeks.

Because successful people don’t wait for opportunities…

They create them.

See you at the top,

 

Your Coach,